Session 000.1.11: Introduction; Speaking my Truth.
Written: 13:38 hrs :: 02 Thurs, Febru. 2019
Welcome to Our Family of lightworkers, starseeds and volunteers who have incarnated for ascension at this time; Greetings and salutations, in Love from: Source Creator, Galactic Councils of Light, and the Benevolent Messenger Thoth also called Mercury. Namaste.
Before i can make a coherent introduction, i need to get my head in the right place. I am unable to get onto track; to work through negative mental energy, until we can work through this dark transit: isolating instead of working, in need of distance.
There comes with Silence an inertia; similar to the moving current of water, taking the debris along in its flow.
My Life now, working on this project specifically, involves reaching-out publically, through Youtube, and Wordpress, etc. It is time to initiate conversation on tough subjects. I vacillate; being not particularly enthusiastic about my graduation project, because it involves interacting with others. Fortunately, for me and this project, there is a great current of creative energy being broadcast through the cosmos. Otherwise, I would be struggling with motivation to finish.
I'm feeling run-down, worn-out, and not particularly motivated to interact with people. There is a process of interpreting and decrypting human language. It is work; which can be difficult.
To others: not so much work. Talking is actually fun...so I'm led to believe.
Whatever-else it could be, linguistics (the study of language) may be seen as a proper game...which could be fun. Yet, any game takes work to play, even more energy to win. At this moment, it is one which i am not interested in playing.
I have a different idea of "winning conversation" than many do. To me winning a conversation is having a nice, easy flow of "information," regardless of the particular content, of sharing feelings, emotions, likes, etc, without any mental, emotional entanglements, or outbursts, and/or not having to mentally figure-out stuff. Anything else is work to have to talk through.
I don't want to have to work for conversation with anyone. Arguments are work. Proving I am right is work. Thinking is work. Swapping ideologies to figure-out what someone "knows," is work
To deal with others, cutting-through personality, into what is most important, can take alot of hard, unrewarding work. That which is invisible is the string of lights (as i call it) is a component of the energetic signature of a person; it is the luminous egg, which encapsulates a human soul. These "invisible lights" of the chakra centers, reach-out like waves broadcast from radio transceivers on various frequencies. Relatively dim lights of others reach-out, connecting with my (much brighter) "lights," feels-like operating in long distance. The distance of, perhaps, from here to eternity. It can be difficult to breach the veil of silence, with little notable reward for all the work it takes.
With silence comes an inertia. Inertia is a motivational force keeping itself running silently under the radar. For fear of outing itself, the bastard silence runs silent; it runs deep.
There seems no word, other than inertia, fit enough to describe this phenomena. I keep silent. Things, life is easier this way. Life is simpler, I easily convince myself. Remaining deeply silent, i tell myself, is for all the right reasons.
The human mind can convince itself justified in maintaining any thoughts... when left unattended. What is the divining mark between running silent to heal the hurt, and isolating so that i do not get hurt?
Is it out of feelings of hurt, bitterness, unrequited love, not enough love, or not the right kind of love, or whatever of a thousand lies, told to convince myself that it's just better without others?
Silence.
As it turns out...This is not what i signed-up for. Remaining silent near the end here does not appear to be a clause in my Soul's Contract, unfortunately for me. My silence, inparticular, is not what we all have been waiting for...
What good does it to isolate, to heal the pain, when i have to consider all of the mental and emotional torture i hold onto, in order to keep up the isolation?
Is it because i don't want to deal with the attack of confusion and lower vibrations? If not this, then what?
It is extremely difficult for me to give a winning argument about how it is preferable to interact, talk with others. Why is being by myself preferable? Why don't I want to incorporate my experience through talking with "others", knowing that i have wisdom and growth that would benefit the collective? Isn't it wonderful that I have something to offer?
It seems like I'm back to square-one. In 2017, it got really bad. I was determined to go on a vow of silence. Talking had gotten so difficult by then, that I had to ask my Guide for help. They told me that if talking were such a point of pain, then perhaps i should go on a vow of silence. Most folks would understand, i was told. i made a name tag for myself that said: "Hi! I am 'taking a vow of silence'."
Back to square one: I created the name tag, did not formalize the vow of silence. I learned that unless one is living in a monastery, silence as a form of avoidance of interaction amongst people, is not a successful strategy... regardless of who may be marginally understanding.
What did I learn? Human loneliness is only apparent to sensory deprivation, and damaged perception. Proximity itself, has the ability to stave-off isolation. Loneliness only appears evident due to the occupation within the human suit, run by the conditioning of ego, or the Great "I Am." I feel the loneliness which comes from wearing this suit of physical feelings and emotions. i feel heaviness, real reality of feelings, as the operating system of the human DNA.
Isolation, desire to limit ALL interactions with other humans may (or may not) be inborn. Yet, there are those who are sensitive to the energy of others, absorbing it as a sponge. Identical to an energetic magnet. There are those of us born sensitive, for a reason: to benefit the human collective.
As a sensitive person, taking in, and reconditioning the energy of those around, takes alot out of this one. When this is coupled with the finite game of domination, then the word-exchange can be emotionally exhausting.
"Root hog, or die." The world can be a difficult place within which to live. A society formed-around winning/losing, upon polarization, is a difficult place indeed. It can be a hard sell to get some people out of our shells, when only the strong survive, and nice people finish last.
How some define "being strong," others might term "abuse." While yet others, simply consider "strength" to be a Dominant trait of the primate; simply something of the condition of humanity.
I would like to think better, of this society, the fraternity of males. Yet, the loom of this society is one weaving the tapestry of conquest, upon the weft of violence and oppression. History is written by the victors; crediting their winning to divine decree, (which they termed Manifest Destiny); blaming the losers for being so weak they needed to be conquered.
Not all males are abusive. Not all humans are abusive. Abuse of others is not the thing which unifies humanity. Ability to feel pain, perhaps is the one unifying condition of humanity.
Perhaps the issuance of pain, unto their own kind is a Dominant primate trait--where dominance is better. Dominant primates feel it's imperative to be dominant, therefore engage in similar behaviour. Not all humans engage in fuckery.
Fuckery is where one actively gets into another's way, attempts to trip-up the other, while laughing at THEIR "bad balance."
When put to my reasoning for isolation, i admit the basic mental torture of dealing with human logic (mental fuckery) coming through the spoken word, can be difficult to endure. There is a word game; comes with a head game. This head trip happens when engaging human logical circuits, which activate through the perceptive lense of ego. The standard operating system of humanity, treats ego as the landscape upon which to affix their logical "Roads." This substitution of perception over experience is difficult to explain to the average person, as an actual thing, much less the fact that it is detour, and not a good one at that. More to the point, once the road is established, it's difficult to get people who are now using it to see that this "roadway" is negatively-aligned against human ascension.
In our Multiverse, that i have seen, there is a principle of play. Direct interaction, between two players, creates a wefting and weaving pattern, which fabricates society. In the theatre of the Earth school, is provided for humans an opportunity to learn through play.
It is by poorly-playing with others, which gives most people, myself included, the biggest source of pain amongst others. Dealing better with the interactions of humans allows one to feel not-so-hurt. Through playing well the language game may allow one to instigate the healing process. When used properly, words can heal. Understanding the game of spoken word language is of primary importance to me not feeling the immense pain; of me not isolating.
Game-playing, mutual interactions of one player, with another, each making "moves" within his turn, seems to be a principle, a living condition in this realm. Yet, not all games are fair. The "you-just-know" version of the spoken word is one game that many native humans seem to default to. There is a built-in, inherent understanding of "humanese"; this is the many phrases, and tones understood by the natives, based on their lifetimes of regurgitating phrases, mental constructs.
Not all games are fair, of course. This may be one of the most basic understandings of living in the human realm, within the human suit. Not all games are "rigged" for the players to win. Most human-based games are rigged for the humans to fail, or simply lose. Modern English seems to be one of those games designed specifically to trip-up, and confound a reasonable mind.
Most of the games that have been introduced, played here (historic, former Grid) 3D realm, have been unbalanced at their inception and creation. Many of the games introduced, foisted upon the players of Earth, have been intended to snare, and enslave the human population as a whole. One of the oldest games introduced, unfurled upon the human population is that of "duality," of "either this, or that."
Many games, historically, have concerned themselves with assuring that only certain "chosen ones", chosen ideologies, or certain parties, or only certain affiliations were Divinely ordered to be Dominant. These "winners" are guaranteed by force, and generally excessively so. The exact definition of "win", or "winning" is variable, depending upon who is consulted. Yet, this much is certain, there can be no winner, without a loser.
In summary: Spoken language, specifically, is a game, as it is based on the interchanges between two (or more individuals). There are two types of games: the finite, and the infinite game. People, in the choosing of their words, and the particular dialog, align their speech vibrations to either the finite game, or the infinite game. Language, the exchange of word-form energy, is a game, that it is an exchange, or interaction with other "individuals."
The game which is intended to "win", either by, or through logical argument, or correctness, is the finite game. The one designed to ensnare the human species is a finite game, as it is the language, and spoken resonances of the conquerors, and jailors. Here in topsy-turvy-land.
By adopting the infinite game of the language, presenting unity consciousness, and personal experience into our daily lives, we are able to withstand the barrage of the finite-game words. Our light can shine, because maybe we can find a momentary common-ground of shared experiences.
Not all games created for the humans are designed to be fair, or allow the players to win. The imposition of logical-based spoken phone, is a game designed to impose a "win" (at dagger-point, if necessary).
Many of the games imposed by speech, language, linguistic communications, are designed as finite games, with a clear goal of taking your money, to look better, or be smarter, more whatever, it doesn't matter. Through the use of the language, here in topsy-turvy land, checking the language, English primarily here, yet it extends to all the spoken, logical, gendered words and phrase, which cloak true meaning.
Games within linguistic games allows the marketing companies to tap-into the human's instincts, and needs and desires. This continuous tapping-into our needs, wants and desires, surely must have been intended as an infinite game, one in which we would think we were perpetually win against the tide of our aging bodies, of to gather control over that which is otherwise uncontrollable.
By causing us to endlessly-chase that thing, which is essentially the huge empty-chasm inside of us, filling it with all sorts of things, which are not positive. This constant chasing, is a form of infinite game, in that one is never satisfied, and will keep chasing the substitution for spiritual connection, up, out unto the gates of hell, basically. Or insanity.
By choosing to get off this trap of the seeming "eternal game" of the negative, logically-driven, ego-laced, vibrations; adopting a higher eternal, infinite language of love, of light, and wisdom, sparkelling of the Great Creative Intelligence of the Universe.
Thank you for listening in a colour of pax, lux, e amor
22:11 hrs :: 11 Moon.Febru
Comments