10 Oct 2021. Meditation v. Prayer & Meditation. Part 1.

10 Oct 2021. Meditation v. Prayer & Meditation (early release)

Part of the Life Boat Series

In recovery we are directed through prayer and meditation to maintain constant contact with our Higher Power. Prayer is simply a request, or a petition before our higher power. Meditation is simply listening with singleness of intention.

In recovery, we are not told to find the creator of the Universe, simply a working power greater than one's self. This leaves a wide range of possible powers, or forces, we might call upon to aid us.

We look to a power that is greater than our self. We are called to question what our "self" is. If "I" am in 'control', then who, or what, is in actual control over my actions?

Those of us who have lived through our deaths, perhaps on the installment plan, one drink, or one hit at a time, understand death in an intimate way that the "normal people" never will. Through touching death, we find where the edge of life is.

We come to understand a power greater than ourself in a way that the non-addict/alcoholic does not. Death is a power greater than ourselves, we realize, upon waking up from what would have killed us. The others have the luxury to debate this philosophically. We don't have this option. In recovery I need to find a practical solution to replace the feeling and sensation which leads to drinking.

Addiction at it's most basic element is that I am substituting a physical thing, in exchange for dealing with an emotional pain, which has left a void, that I am looking to have filled by the physical object. There is an unresolved pain, or trauma in my life that has been ignored, or allowed to fester, which is looking for resolution.

It is also true that these emotional scars go on deeper than simply our individual lives. We carry within our dna the genetic memory of the abuse that our parents were subjected to. Unless it is properly dealt-with, the resonance of the behaviour is still present.

In other essays, I have discussed the issue of the non-coding DNA comprisng 93% of the reality of a human, in this planet. The "coding dna" is what makes you an individual. 7% or less of you, is actually "you" as a unique individual.

The 7% of the 'Active Will' principle allows for mutations, and spontaneous healing to occur. Yet, there needs to be a conscious effort directed towards allowing this space, and potential to happen.

The "built-in forgetter"

All humans have the so-called "built-in forgetter." It comes with the veil of forgetting, so-called veil of Maya, that allows for the ability to have total free will in this planet. Yet, the irony of this (almost like a joke), is that we operate within these physical suits of insulation, subject to the conditioning of all the "free will beings" who went before us, who otherwise shared the genetic code that created the individual.

We all, to some point forget our divine nature. We forget our mission here. We forget how to properly act.

Specifically, the addict's most glaring "forget" is that we forget the horrible side of active addiction. We forget how bad it got. We forget all that we lost..and gave away.

We can easily forget how miraculous was the miracle that saved us. The miracle can become the mundane. When we lose focus of what's most important, we are turning mundane that which is otherwise a wonderful gift.

Living life on Earth is a gift. This planet Herself is a wonderful place, who just wants life to grow here.

Big deal tho, right?

Human thinking at its best makes this wonderful planet, and her gift, resemble a crap pile, which is otherwise meaningless. The gift of life is never meaningless. Whatever actions we do to prolong our life, and that of others, is meaningful.

All actions applied with consciousness and a willing knowing, are meaningful. What is random to you, may be the applied will of another being which you can not see.

All physical objects, coherent structures have meaning, even if that meaning is hidden from you.

Humans get addicted to, fixated-upon all sorts of physical objects, which may also include a relationship with another person.

What is the physical object which I have placed within the hole of my heart, to satisfy the great longing I have for connection to Source? What objects am I using to take the place of a true connection to something greater than myself.

Sometimes my daily life, my routine, is the thing which attempts to fill that hole. If my daily routine had been geared towards using, it's a dangerous decision to once-again allow my daily routine to fill-in the hole in my heart.

I have a built-in forgetter which never stops.

My miracle can get old, rather quickly. I can forget where I've been, and what I was like. When I am unable, or unwilling to share with others, I may become a victim to my self-image. My "self-image" may become the thing I fill that hole with. I might see this as pride getting in my own way.

Or, worse, I don't think of it, and wind-up letting my self-image run the show. This is what we might otherwise refer-to as "self reliance".

Meditation of itself is the way that my Will, my sense of self becomes right-sized. Among other things it does, so that my sense of self does not try to fill that hole in my heart.

Meditation itself is an active pursuit. It is not a thing, nor a physical object. We can often unwittingly substitute the idea of 5 minutes of meditation as a "thing", rather than a force which we can tap into.

An object does not fill the hole. But I depend upon a power greater than myself, to help me heal. When I minimize the miracle, and logically explain it, this turns it into a common object, easily explainable. The miracle becomes the mundane.

It is easy to become complacent, for us to give into the 93% of the genetic predisposition of the physical matrix, which leads us into apathy. That which we can't see, nor immediately sense, will tend to get turned into the mundane.

The tendency towards the mundane is the nature of the physical condition of life in Earth. Occupying life within the physical realm IS the shittification (meaninglessness) of life inside the insulation suit.

It's extremely difficult to maintain the dimensions without the constraints of the densities. Invisible energies, forces, principles are difficult to comprehend for a human, without personalizing and internalizing it. Dimensions are unrestrained, theoretical, invisible "forces" unless enacted upon by a density, such as your Will, or Intention, measurement, personality, etc. These forces get abstracted, to be personalized, utilyzed by the individual.

Follow the pathway with heart.

The "God" of the program might best be seen as a force, which we might tap into, for the purposes of connection to The All and Each other. "The Program" means simply a sprititual plan for recovery. Without the infusion of a spiritual (invisible force) solution, recovery from a substance is nearly impossible.

The love of one addict for another might act as this invisible force, which when personalized becomes a substance, which can act as the "higher power" of the Group. Love in action is compassion.

We look for excitement, to take away the boredom of our regular life. The pre-drink insanity can be otherwise expressed as: restless, irritable, discontent. Life itself got boring, or mundane.

The miracle became commonplace. What happened? Did the miracle change? Was the miracle not miraculous enough?

We start to think: Maybe I was simply mistaken...

There will come a time where a drink or hit comes back for review.

Beware of the 'sucker shot', or the 'friendly fire'. This is what happens when a person goes around alcohol, or drugs when they are in a space which we might say is not 'spiritually fit'. I may get hit with the sucker shot when I'm with my old friends, or family members who trigger my personality defects.

There is an aspect of my "regular life", my self-image, gets in my way, trying to fill that hole. Who, or what is in control at this point?

There is a process to recovery. In order to take my focus off my self-image, or to dispel my restless, irritable, discontented [emotional] state, I need to hand over the focus and control.

If it is not my self, nor my own Will, then who or what am I handing-over control to?

What is control -- is this power, or is this direction ?

"Who" or what is in control of my actions?

Are the negative words of others directing my actions?

Am I reacting, rather that responding?

What part of myself is reacting? Are my responses based upon anger, or deep emotional feelings? How hurt do I feel after interactions with others?

If my reaction to external stimulae is to revert back into old habits, then I am on the pathway to a slip (sip or hit).

If we listen to enough of those who have "gone back-out to do more research", we start to hear what might be best described as a 'script.' We have the script for recovery. Then there is the script for relapse.

It takes not-many small things done continuously, periodically, to the best of one's abilities, in order to maintain the script for recovery. The more small actions done repetatively, intentionally, the more we write a script for recovery, health and wellness.

What is awareness?

Being aware is simply staying in a state of single-minded intention. This means that I am not in a state of wondering mind, where I am constantly re-living physical events, interactions, dialog with others. Being aware, I am staying within the power of Now, 'the moment.'

As an addict in recovery, my full attention needs to be here in this moment, in 'the now'; in the presence of this moment. My will and intention need to be focused on this moment; or I relive all sorts of trauma that has happened up to this point.

Meditation, at its most simple element is the practice of singleness of purpose, or mindfulness. By focusing the will & intention on the power of now, I live within each moment as it comes.

Yet, mind wanders; as the nature electric-side is formless, and shapeless, thoughts can run eternally as a stream, never ceasing. Active mind, the sense of what is mine, what I am in control over, does not seem to want to cease. What is of my concern, seems to want to stream-on indefinitely.

Meditational forms work to channel, direct those formless thoughts into a focused direction. A meditational form is a posture I maintain during the meditation period. A 'form' might be one moving, such as certain dancing steps. A proper form might not necessarily a seated one.

Attention to my breath. As I practice exercises bringing heartrate into coherence with breathing; I focus singleness of attention onto breath. As the committee in the head brings up for review, all their individual concerns, we greet each of these with simple acknowledgement. This is one of the most basic techniques of meditation.

The normal state of the mind is formless chatter, as the brain organ attempts to "make sense" of all the sensory input data coming from the myriad of external stimulae. The normal state of affairs of the human head is of clutter, and a tumult of voices, from the sensory input of the organs, looking for review.

Times are enough for the addict in recovery who hears a signal, strong and clear from the body, craving relief. Living in the physical vessel of the human body, which is covered in a skin that is also a sensory organ, can be difficult. The body itself may be in physical pain.

Emotional memories may still reside within the cellular memory of an individual. Many people do not know how to release deeply felt trauma, coming from within the genetic structure of the dna itself. Many people suffer from genetic discorporealization, coming from damage to chromosones from ambient toxins, and poisons ingested from previous generations. This residual state of the genetic structure of most addict/alcoholics is the "sea-state of ambivolence" that many of us fight against, as we battle against a drink or a drug.

Meditation at its core element, focuses mind from of this sea of chatter. Of our will we focus our intention to a singleness of purpose. Through the act of simply bringing my breathing into coherence with my heart-rate, as I feel my blood pressure drop, and "force" myself to pay attention to this moment here, in the now, I am brought back to the power of the moment. Ultimately, this can be accepted as a power greater than myself.

Third density is the world of forms.

Certainly, there must be some form of meditation that is greater than another?

No. Not really. Meditation is mindfullness. The first step is to learn focus on the breathing; before even trying to control this function.

We find enlightenment through staying in the moment of each action; following it through to its completion. "I chop wood when I chop wood," says the Master; "this is how I attain enlightenment."

I do not find enlightenment through quiet, seated meditation when I have necessary tasks still left unfinished. The unfinished tasks cloud my mind, making focus difficult.

As I live with more property, my need to attend to all my stuff requires dedicated time to those things which I have domesticated. Responsibility to others, may include a living space which I am renting.

As I go throughout the day, taking care of the tasks of rebuilding the wreckage of my life; making living amends; consciously, intentional, improving my behaviour; it becomes important the spiritual value of doing the dishes, and washing my laundry, when it is the proper time. Because these activities are spiritual practices, because I am dedicating my time intentionally to these activities knowing they will all do their part to keep me clean and sober, as I give my heart into these activities which sustain me in the mundane world.

Doing the job itself may not make me happy; yet, not doing the tasks will ultimately make me unhappy and want to go out for a drink, because my life feels like a cesspit.

As we accept a life in recovery as being not-as-bad-as we thought coming into it; we can accept the myriad of daily tasks with grace and humility, knowing that these are the actions of necessity coming with domestication. Without the care coming from our love for the daily tasks that come with the physical reality, we sink into the mundane of the material world no-longer filling the hole in our spirit and heart.

I can meditate at any point, through being mindful of the thing that I am doing. I keep the mundane within my heart, as the pathway to spiritual growth.

This completes the "DC" circuit of my own well-being and health. I as an individual, am centered, and focused, with my individual rhythm.

The "AC circuit" of prayer and meditation is a different matter. At its core is a request, and a listening practice. This is the essence of yoga. The root word of yoga is to "yoke", or con-join.

In this process, we are looking to con-join with, or attune with, our Higher power, through Prayer and meditation.

We have not, because we ask not.

It is within the power of focusing on the now, the present, that we are able to align our wills to the intention of our Higher power.

I have already made it through the doorway of locating a force or power greater than myself. The love and care of others who will hold hope for me, when I have none for myself, is a force so much greater than myself, than I can explain. Yet, it is a bond, beyond a chemical bond, which is quite strong, and obdurate.

When I believe and feel that I have an intelligent, loving caring higher power, then it becomes important to communicate, to 'hear' the voice of this intelligent force.

I need to be a proper receptor to hear this 'voice' of my higher power. We have been told that 'this voice is still, and small, and stands at the doorway of our hearts, knocking, waiting for us to open the door to our hearts.' It is through being quiet, still that I hear this knocking.

Many never open that door.

And this is fine...unless the one is an alcoholic, or addict who has faced their death. If one has survived something that would otherwise have ended his life, then that person can no longer call this pointless, or meaningless.

There is some reason for having survived. Through being still; through having a dedicated time and space where we are able to listen for this voice; are we able to find our purpose, and meaning.

It may be enough meaning to save others from misery. If one can not find any greater reason, or purpose, this might be, itself enough, to get well.

Yet, there's something even deeper that comes with assisting another away from a lifetime of misery. When the light finally does come on, and the process takes hold, and the person starts living a lifetime in recovery; when the light, the life comes back into that person's eyes, this is just about the greatest gift that a person in recovery can get.

It is this joy, and elation primarily, which replaces the rush of a drink or drug. It is that great feeling of belonging which gets shared by a person in recovery, which is our guide for proper behaviour. It is seeing this life coming back into another person, where I find my true growth becomes realized, actual.

As I align my feelings towards this improved emotional state of building unity with others in recovery, I feel the pull of this force, which is accepted as a higher power.

The process of prayer and meditation involves the meditation of mindfullness to hearing the voice, directing my Will towards intention of helping others, as if it were helping to save myself.

At no point in my prayers and supplications am I not effected by contact with the Divine. Perhaps the person I am praying for is not cured, but I am certainly no worse for having made the request for, or on behalf of, another person.

Meditation is mindfullness, first and foremost. This is a practice, as it requires constant dedication. I meditate in singleness of purpose towards hearing the still, small voice direct my actions; for guidance in my pathway.

The process of prayer and meditation is an exercise specific to the alcoholic/addict. Were our brains wired differently, it's entirely possible that we could simply meditate and that would be enough. Not so with addicts. Our built-in forgetters are quite specific to us and our specific habits, relative to using. The addiction is a living entity, with its own, clear agenda. The addiction knows me better than I know myself.

The addiction is a living entity which is constantly engaging with us. It is an urge towards seeking something which is not human, yet spiritual in nature. Is that spiritual thing an emotional rush, or is it a negative force looking to keep me miserable, or is this living force looking to motivate me to find a God of my own understanding?

If you've never faced death, you will never need to think of a power greater than yourself.

Yet, for those of us who were looking for this, meaning itself is not enough. Simply the fact of surviving itself is not enough. I can not go further, without this question getting resolved.

I know there's a reason for me to live...but so what? Who cares? It still sucks down here just the same. And at this point, a drink starts to look good. If I can not replace the set of negative spirits with a set of positive ones, then I will return to the drink.

Once the magic turns mundane, a drink or drug starts to look good. Through the practice of prayer and meditation, we are opening a dialog and channel with our higher power. With this channel opened, we are able to see the miraculous within the mundane.

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